Year 1992
Studio Yankee Classic
Producer Tim Keating
Director Jean-Paul Ovellette
Writer Jean-Paul Ovellette
Music music
Cast

Mark Kinsey Stephenson

Maria Ford

John Rhyes-Davies

Length 104 mins

     
The Unnamable II: The Statement of Randolph Carter

‘‘ My God that's a naked woman! ’’

The title to this sequel of The Unnamable gives the impression of being based on another story by Lovecraft, but only bears the faintest resemblance to the weird dream HPL penned in December of 1919. A dream about himself, his good friend Samuel Loveman, and their macabre cemetery adventure, entitled "The Statement of Randolph Carter."

At the conclusion of The Unnamable, we saw Randolph, Howard, and Tanya almost skipping away down the cemetery road after their encounter with the unnamable she-demon in the Winthrop house. Unnamable II begins on a much more somber note. Tanya is in shock, Howard has a torn-up chest, and Randolph (reprised by the angular and noticeably older Mark Kingsey Stephenson) is being whisked away to the police station under the watchful eye of a deputy who ominously whispers, "This might be like that Dunwich thing." Hey, baby. Do that Dunwich thing!

After giving the police his "statement," Randolph enlists the help of Professor Warren, Miskatonic University's resident occult scholar—played by character actor John Rhys-Davies of Indiana Jones and Sliders—to help him explore things only glimpsed at during his first underground adventure. Randolph tempts the good professor with a copy of the Necronomicon "borrowed" from the Winthrop house, a corrupt version missing the important pages.

The professor agrees to help and we see a glimmer of "The Statement of Randolph Carter" as they take flashlights and wire intercom to Jousha Winthrop's grave. "The place was an ancient cemetery," Lovecraft wrote, "so ancient that I trembled at the manifold signs of immemorial years."

At the cemetery, Howard, the recovering freshman, is left above ground while the professor and Randolph go below. They are forced to use a wire intercom to communicate with Howard because the earth would block radio transmissions—a bit borrowed from the original story where a "curious coil of wire with attached instruments" was used.

The she-demon (with none of the sinister grace of the original) is found below, trapped in a tangle of enchanted tree roots. The professor takes a quick blood sample and, with the help of his handy portable microscope, surmises that there are two entities co-existing in her body! Being a Doctor of Occult Literature, the professor quickly comes up with the brilliant plan of separating them by using an injection of insulin and a couple sugar cubes.

We can't make this stuff up, folks.

After injecting the she-demon, the evil entity exits the body in tendrils of blue electricity, revealing the body of a very lovely and very naked Alyda Winthrop (played by Maria Ford) sporting a wig of incredibly long and always-in-the-way hair. Like insight into the dreaded Necronomicon, her nudity is brief and fleeting, preventing anyone from fully correlating all its contents.

Randolph and Howard take the naked Alyda back to their Miskatonic dorm where she immediately sniffs Randolph's dirty laundry and rolls around on top of his bed, skillfully keeping the hair between us and a good view. This commotion wakes some of the residents who comment, "Oh my God, that's a naked woman!" while another picks up the copy of the Necronomicon and declares, "This is quantum physics!" (At this point the viewer should pick up the videotape and declare, "This is complete bullshit!")

Meanwhile, the exorcised she-demon energy—remember that?—has re-materialized into the familiar form of the "unnamable" and the fun begins in earnest. It's open season on Arkham cops and Miskatonic students as the she-demon claws and slashes and bites its way back to Ms. Ford's nubile body. Eventually, the film becomes a race to the rare-book room at Miskatonic's legendary library, as Carter tries to find the missing pages from the Necronomicon holding the spell that will send the she-demon back once and for all.

In the rare-book room, Randolph not only discovers the pages he requires but something unexpected . . . true love. The geeky student is overwhelmed when Alyda speaks "the ancient language of Cthulhu" and she sweeps him into her arms by correctly pronouncing old tentacle-head's unpronounceable name. Unfortunately, it's Cthulhu interruptus for the young lovers when the she-demon smashes through the window and prepares to re-merge with Alyda. Randolph also wants to merge with the supple Alyda, and defeats the she-demon by capturing the thing's electrical essence in an old wooden chair. (Like we said, we can't make this stuff up.)

But Randolph Carter's strange love is destined to be unrequited, for in the end Alyda is the she-demon, and the she-demon is Alyda. Without the she-demon inside her, Alyda begins to age rapidly—she is, after all, over two hundred years old—leaving only a crumbling skeleton in Randolph's slender arms.

So much for dating older women.

Oh, and no buildings are razed in this film—but the chair holding the unnamable's electrical essence does get toasted in Randolph Carter's fireplace. It just wouldn't be a Lovecraft adaptation if something didn't catch fire at the end.